HOW ARE YOU? - ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY
Let's talk about this ‘How are you?’ question and lets normalise not being okay and telling people about it.
Okay, if someone asks you “How are you” what is your immediate answer? Can i guess it's somewhere along the lines of “Good thanks.” But how are you really because I genuinely want to know and you deserve to have someone listen.
I ask this question because for soo long us Kiwi’s have been taught that they don't want to know the real answer, that you’re bothering them if you don't just say ‘I’m good’. For so long people have been taught to not talk about whats REALLY going on, to not honestly answer the question.
Its so damaging you guys! Without even realising it when we automatically ask “how are you” and get an ‘I'm good’ response then walk away or change the subject we are not giving the people around us the chance to even try to talk about how they're really feeling.
It might seem like a blow off question and not mean too much to you but for those of us struggling that day, there’s something/ someone inside SCREAMING wanting to talk about it. Imagine feeling like that and realising people around you do actually want to hear what you have to say and want to listen, how great would that world be!?
Yes, this goes both ways, if you are struggling today or any day for that matter, PLEASE TALK. You might not feel comfortable with the first person who asks but just practise, something simple that isn’t ‘I'm good’ and keep going, you might be surprised at who is there and ready to listen. BUT PLEASE PLEASE BE HONEST, HOW ARE YOU!? Because i really really want you to know that it really, totally is okay to not be okay and the more you talk about it the easier it becomes.
I once had a co-worker come to me while i was steering off into the distance (i used to do that when i was worried/ anxious/ over thinking) and he asked where i go when i do that? I told him about the overthinking and racing thoughts and it felt soo good to talk. He didnt try to fix, he just listened and that is all one can do. The chat actually encouraged me to go see my doctor about my mind and she put me onto a therapist. I have ebeen going to therapy for nearly 5 years now, so i am pretty good at this talking thing. But more on that next time.
For now, when you are out and about being your fucking awesome self today and someone asks “that” question, please be honest. This world needs more people like you being honest about your feelings and opening up these sometimes tricky conversations. Trust me i know it might be scary right now but it will get easy, one step at a time.
Practise now: ask your self “How are you?” and write down your answer and let me know how it felt.
Have a wonderful day you beautiful human!!